Why Did I Stay Married?! Chapter Two

Persistent Pursuit of Happiness

Amelia Baker Cole. Copyright 2008. All Rights Reserved.

Okay, so here I am in 1985…single and satisfied! I was loving Jesus, family and friends. I did not need or want another man in my life. BUT GOD had a different plan!

As I stated in my previous blog (please read Why Did I Stay Married – Day One), Danny and I met in 1985 while working at the IRS on Democrat Rd. I was in the lunch line when this young man spoke to me and began what I would like to call, his persistent pursuit of happiness! And boy was he persistent! He never gave up! He began his flirtation. His first deep, thoughtful statement was, “Hey, I like those pants that you have on. I have a pair just like them, but they don’t fit me like they do you.” Then, he smiled a devious smile, walked off and left me grinning from ear to ear. What a line! Well, it was one that I had never heard before and it got my attention.

For the next six months, Danny was persistent in his pursuit of me. I, on the other hand, didn’t give him the time of day or my phone number. After all, I remember the next time he saw me, he forgot my name and I actually have the same name as his mother! …STRIKE ONE! However, every day he would ask me to go on break with him and I would politely say no because I was going to break with my girlfriends. My girlfriends and I hung tight! We were close and had much fun together! So hey, I did not want to ruin that by hanging out with some guy that just wanted to get in my panties and then break my heart again! Just keeping it real! No way! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and I ain’t going back! Besides, I told him that my goal at IRS was to save enough money to move to Texas because I had no plans of staying in Memphis! So, c’ya!!! I was Texas bound and nothing was going to hold me back!

Now here we are, months later and on this particular day, I was really working hard as lunch time approached. However, there were a few things that I needed to accomplish before going to lunch. For that reason, I asked my girlfriends if they would wait on me. They said they would meet me out front. Once I finished and went out front, they were gone. They didn’t even wait! How could they! I was so pissed! Subsequently, I went to a break room all the way at the opposite end of the Service Center to be alone. I didn’t want to even see their faces when they return! As I sit there, all alone in this big empty break room, someone walks up behind me and politely place their hands over my eyes. I immediately comment and say, if this is one of my ‘so call’ friends, you can forget it! That’s when this tall handsome young man with such an irresistible smile (Danny Cole) comes from behind and looks me in the eyes and says, “Hey”! And I go, Oh, it’s you (is this man following me?). Danny says, are you okay? I say, Yeah, I’m fine…What are you doing all the way down here at this end of the Service Center? Danny says, I came to this vending machine because it is the only one that has Skittles. I go; you came all the way down here for Skittles? He goes; Yeah, I will go a long way for what I want, even to Texas! That did it right there! I grinned again from ear to ear! We sat, laughed and talked until the end of lunch.

Later, at the following afternoon break, Danny came up to me and my girlfriends and asked if I would go outside with him. And I said, sure. We laughed, talked and had a great time together! I enjoyed myself so much that I went back to the office late. When I arrived in the office, everyone in my unit stood up and clapped their hands saying, it’s about time you gave that brother a chance! This was the beginning of a life-long dream come true, one filled with GREAT JOY and GREAT PAIN!

Why Did I Stay Married?! Chapter One

My Salvation

Amelia Baker Cole. Copyright 2008.

All Rights Reserved.

When Danny and I first met, it was 1985 and we worked together at the IRS on Democrat Rd.But, before meeting Danny, let’s digress.

It was 1983 and I had gone through much heartache and pain in bad relationships! My mom passed when I was eleven, my father had been a very hard and abusive man which did not show much affection, until after my mother passed. But, the damage had already been done. I was emotionally abused (which was in some ways more fortunate than my siblings and mother who were physically abused as well) which led to my broken spirit, as I looked for love in all the wrong places. At this point in my life, I had decided to give my love to God, my family and the church. This was the decision that changed my life for the better! I remember that day very clearly. I was devastated by my "first love" as I laid in the study room of Memphis State University "Rawls Hall" women's dormitory 4th floor crying out to the Lord, save me! I remember the Peace of God entering my heart and I knew what I had to do. I was going to go to church that coming Sunday and give my life to the Lord publicly.

Equipped with this decision, I went home to my Father’s house that weekend to share with everyone I came in contact with the “good news”! Well, all did not think that it was such “good news”. One of my girlfriends thought it was a joke. I told her that I was going to join Castalia Baptist, the only church I had ever known. My family grew up in this church. The Rev. Mims baptized, married and buried my siblings. We had fallen out of the church due to some family disagreements. Therefore, being the youngest of eight and the last one at home with my father, we did not attend church. This girlfriend told me that they were all hypocrites and that’s why her family did not go there anymore. I was so hurt by those words. Immediately, I went home and told my father what I had planned to do and what was said by my girlfriend. My father loved on me and told me the most profound words. He said that it didn’t matter what church that I went to, as long as the church was in me.

That Sunday morning, my father drove me to Castalia Baptist church, dropped me off and went back home. Yes, I said went back home! Anyway, I went in and sit next to one of my neighbors, Desdamona. I cried the whole service. Desdamona would politely give me fresh tissue after each episode. At the end of service they announced, “the doors of the church are open”, as they sat two or three chairs out front. if you are Baptist, you can relate! I went down front (crying every step of he way!) and joined the church. My life was never the same again! Through the years to come, I had many other family members to come back home to Castalia Baptist, including my father! Glory be to God!